Part Three - Another One

Another one
Like a different version of me
Staring me right in the face
Like an emotional mirror
Or a frozen puddle on the cold hard concrete
Words do nothing
Yet the voices are helping
Like oxygen, they blur the edges of this thing
I kill him
The man standing before me
Myself
I am gone and all that's left is me
So I am still here, and this fucking mirror shows it
I kill him again
And I now understand
It is a better version
A newer, smarter, cooler version

It is not me at all
Rather it is all that I am not
All that I wish to be
And all that I despise

It is other people

Maybe if I didn't exist
He wouldn't exist
And then I could live without him
Without those eyes darting all over my body
Judging me
Knowing me
I must hide from him
But he moves even before I do

I throw my bullet into the world

It is buried in the earth and the grass
Beneath the trees and the buildings
In the middle
We all float remarkably around it
Drawn to it
And repelled by it
Caught in the orbit

We have eaten each other
And the bones are our tools
We use them to smash and destroy
We sharpen them
They are spears
And knives
We are not violent
We just do what is needed to survive
Is that not appropriate
We consume each other
We consume the things around us
Animals, plants, televisions, magazines, celebrities
We cannot stop ourselves
Until all is gone

And I am left here staring at him
He knows all of this
He understands all of the things I know
He is me
This stranger
This reflection of the things I cannot see
And the things I know to be true

I kill him

I kill me